@beomiesdiary

the truth is, i can't even put how i would react if you really did it into words. i just can't do it. i would feel an overwhelming surge take over my body. i would wake up in tears, not knowing what my purpose in life was anymore, knowing that the person i looked forward to telling about my day every day would no longer be here to listen, nor would i get to hear the stories I looked forward to because they came only from you and no one else. i wouldnt want to have it any other way. and i know it isn't my fault, but i would blame myself for it everyday. you listened to me patiently when no one else would, you gave me your sweet words of comfort, you were always there when i needed you the most. you were there for me during my highs and even my lows. and despite seeing all my flaws, you never left. i allowed myself to be completely vulnerable with you and in return you treated me as if i were fragile. you saved me at my lowest, and i cant help but always want to return the favour. i want to be there for you too. i want to be the one who you can open up to, the one who you can tell anything to and i would always be there to listen, i want to be the one who you can share half of the burden you carry with me, just so it would feel a little lighter on your shoulders. i want to be there for you too. just so you don't have to carry this heavy burden of yours alone. because i know how hard it is, going through a lot and handling it all by yourself. i want to be there for you. even if you keep pushing me away, i just want you to know that you can always talk to me about anything and i'd be there to listen in no time. but then again, it brings me back to that one night in early 2025. you opened up for the first time. you opened up to me for the first time. you told me that was the first time you've ever opened up to somebody, and it was me who you opened up to. you told me specifically because there was something about me that makes you trust me. ill never forget when we always comforted eachother with all the burdens we have. and ill never stop replaying the day where you first opened up to me. i cant stop wondering what exactly changed. you were so vulnerable with me. but when we stopped talking, you were now the one who was always there for me. yet you always push me away when i want to do the same. were you trying to make up for the times that you couldnt be there for me? none of this is your fault. this is not your fault for feeling this way. you've had a very rough childhood, one with absent emotionally unavailible parents. which explains how you are as a person right now and your avoidance. you weren't able to love as freely and easily as i could. you admitted it. you were sorry as you couldn't love me the way i wanted you to. but never did i ever blamed you for what you were capable of. i never blamed you for loving me the way that you did. you loving me like this is already enough for me. and i know you loved me by heart. i dont want you as a lover, nor as a friend. our relationship and what we have went through together is just too complicated to be simplified with a label. i wouldn't know what i would truly do without you. i love you, and this is the first and only time im allowing myself to be selfish to you. please, i can't imagine life without you. i can't imagine a future without you. i am writing this with tears in my eyes just imagining you gone. i really can't do it. i love you so much. i care for you too much. it's not worth it. please believe me. #beomgyu #ethelcain #vent #kpopvent #giftok

you’re the one person that makes me feel like everything’s going to be okay. your gentleness makes everything bareable. you’re always the first who notices whenever i’m struggling and you never failed to give me your sweet words of comfort and reassurance reminding me that everything’s going to be okay. when i’m paranoid at night, you somehow make me forget why i’m even afraid. whenever i relapsed, you were always there for me. you’re the only person who i’ve ever opened up to about my insecurities but you found the beauty in them like no one else did. you found the beauty in all my ugly. i’ve always felt safe with you. you bring me so much comfort and life feels so much lighter when you’re around. you make me feel like everything’s going to be okay, you make me wanna take care of myself again. #wlw #soogyu #vent #relatable #fyp

i had such high expectations but they weren’t even met in the slightest #hueningkai #vent #kpopvent #relatable #giftok

#beomgyu #giftok #vent #kpopvent #relatable

sighhh this school break is only making me realize how lonely i truly am. god why am i genuinely so self avoidant. i push myself away from everyone. i want to make friends so bad but knowing damn well i’ll js forget to reply to them and it’s not even intentional. it js takes up so much energy. it’s my fault. i miss the times when it was so easy for me to make friends. i feel so lonely these days #giftok #vent #beomgyu #relatable #kpopvent

you’ve changed so much, i can barely recognize you anymore. i miss the old you. but its probably for the better #wlw #vent #giftok #soobin #relatable

because i can’t compete against a man 🫩 #wlw #vent #giftok #beomgyu #relatable

i don’t mind if i’m the one hurting, as long as it’s not you :( #wlw #vent #giftok #relatable #beomgyu

Goddd im not that pathetic #vent #giftok #relatable #mentalhealth #yeonjun

#wlw #vent #giftok #relatable #beomgyu

stop making me feel like everything you said back then was all a lie. you told me you would love me by heart. how can you js be so inconsistent with me #wlw #giftok #vent #beomgyu #relatable

taebin.. 🚬🚬 so what if all our kpop duos still remind me of Us #wlw #taebin #giftok #imissher #relatable

which episode do i die #MentalHealth #vent #giftok #relatable #yeonjun

how can u move on from me that easily and pretend like nothing happend between us #wlw #vent #giftok #relatable #beomgyu