Leah Katz | Psychologist (@dr.leahkatz)

Are you a people pleaser…or do you like to make people happy? #selfawarenessjourney #selfawarenessjourney

We’ve all been there. What to do when someone won’t take your no? #boundaries101 #therapistsoftiktok #healthyboundaries

In many ways, you are what you think. Good thing we can work with our thinking!#anxiety #anxietyrelief #anxietyawareness

Your instinct might be to push past the hard stuff. To minimize it, rationalize it, move on. But here's what I see in my practice: that's exactly what keeps people stuck. Acknowledging difficulty isn't the same as dwelling in it. It's actually the doorway to healing. When you stop telling yourself "it wasn't that bad," you create space to feel what's actually there. Grief, pain, anger. And yes, that feels harder at first. But feeling it is what allows you to move through it. Your pain deserves to be seen. Leah 💗

This equation makes all the difference. #relationshipadvice #relationships

If you had a difficult childhood, here's something confusing: you have it together at work and with friends, but struggle most in your closest relationships. Triggers you didn't know existed show up in romantic partnerships and parenting when you feel unseen or unloved. This is common with complex trauma. Build self-awareness around where this comes from and help that younger part heal so you can show up more whole in your relationships today. Leah 💗

Acceptance doesn't mean being okay with what happened. Acceptance means learning to stop fighting what you can't control. It's acknowledging reality and then choosing to take care of yourself through boundaries, therapy, or healing work. It's not giving up or saying "it's fine". It's refusing to suffer by wishing things or people were different when they're not. Leah 💗

If you grew up with childhood trauma, you probably need to be self-sufficient and struggle to ask for help. When you were younger without reliable adults, you learned to handle everything yourself. That was resilient then, but now it keeps you isolated. Find that younger self who learned this. Offer them empathy and reassurance that it's safe to let people help you now. You don't have to do it all alone anymore. Leah 💗

Here's why you're feeling indecisive: anxiety around being stuck. If you grew up in a home where you weren't taught to trust yourself or handle consequences, you learned that making the wrong decision would leave you stuck and unable to cope. Here's the truth: you're never stuck. You can always re-decide, even if it's inconvenient. Remind yourself that you have the ability to handle whatever comes from the choices you make. You're more capable than you think. Leah 💗

When life feels overwhelming and stress keeps piling up, you don't need to find the perfect moment to feel calm. You just need to find presence. One of the simplest ways to ground yourself is to literally feel your feet on the floor. Notice the sensation of your body connecting to the ground beneath you. This tiny pause can bring you back to yourself, even in the middle of chaos. Presence isn't about perfection, it's about coming home to this moment. Leah 💗

If you had relational trauma growing up, you probably care deeply about your relationships today. That's beautiful in healthy connections, but it backfires when you hold on too long to people who aren't good for you or take it personally when someone walks away. Find that young part of you who learned this pattern. As an adult, you get to choose reciprocal relationships. You don't have to convince anyone of your value. Leah 💗

How would you answer this question? 🤔

Want to stop arguments before they spiral? Try this: give each other permission to ask for a redo. When someone says something that comes out wrong or sounds snarky, let them hit pause and say "Can I redo that? I don't like how it came out." Rewinding just 5 seconds can save you from a full blown fight and lingering resentment. It's such a simple way to show grace. None of us get it right every time, and giving each other room to mess up and try again is what keeps relationships healthy. Leah 💗

Sometimes, letting go is the best thing you can do for yourself. Can you relate? Let me know in the comments! Dr. Leah

If you're healing from childhood trauma, you probably learned to do everything yourself because you couldn't depend on your caregivers. As an adult, this makes it hard to let people help you, which actually keeps you from the healthy give-and-take relationships need. It can look like needing total control. When you notice this, pause and ask: is this a young me who learned I had to do it all alone? Give that part a hug, then be brave enough to let people support you. Leah 💗

One quick relationship changing tip

Healing in 60 seconds ❤️‍🩹

If you or your partner keep bringing up something old, it's because it wasn't fully repaired. Even if it happened years ago, it's still living inside as an open wound. When someone brings it up and gets met with "we already talked about this" or "why does this still matter?" that shuts down repair. Old injuries deserve attention and conversation. As we go through life, past hurts can resurface in new ways. Healthy relationships are built on honesty and the willingness to keep repairing. Leah 💗

Quick mental health reminder:

If you have childhood trauma, you might struggle with hyper independence. Never asking for help, feeling uncomfortable when you need support. If your needs weren't met as a child, you learned to rely only on yourself. While that was resilient then, it isolates you now. Find that young part of you, hug them, and remind them you're capable of building interdependent relationships. That's how we create deep intimacy. Leah 💗

Healing in relationships…

Here's a question to ask yourself when feeling indecisive: What decision will ultimately bring me to a more regulated nervous system? Underline ultimately. It's about the long run, not immediate comfort. For example, staying in bed feels regulating now, but exercising will make you feel more regulated by the end of the day. Ask yourself: How will I feel in the future about the decision I'm making right now? Leah 💗

Anxiety work in a nutshell…

I don't know who needs to hear this, but you don't have to be the peacemaker of the family. If you were the easier kid who followed the rules, you might have been put in this role young. Your parents may have shared things that weren't appropriate or used you as a sounding board. It wasn't fair then and it's not fair now. Give yourself permission to set boundaries. It was never your responsibility to hold the family together, and it's certainly not now.

Feeling more empowered is only one mindset shift away…

Here's one communication tool that will change how you have hard conversations. Before diving in, clarify what you're hoping to get: advice, to be heard, or reassurance. This helps you get ahead of arguments that come from feeling misunderstood. If your partner comes to you with something hard, it's okay to pause and ask what they need. Remember, if you don't say it, they don't know it. Want more tools like this? Check out my Relationship Toolkit in my bio.