kp parker (@kpparkerthings)

please take mercy on us and cancel the plan #yourfriend #badmood #moody

brother, what’s your name and address so we can commiserate? #undercover

Replying to @BK the restaurant is his stage #waiter #moms #restaurantlife

the neighborhood FB group HATES to see her coming #littlefreelibrary #neighborhood #books

NO ONE is romanticizing their $7 like this woman. should I go tomorrow and tell you all how it is? #review #coffeeshop #losangeles #la

he lived through 1000 natural disasters and crimes before we rescued him #rescuedog #pitbull #pittie #dogs

actually tho does he even work here #concert #security #pov

was so excited to find the new purple mario badescu formula under my sink

god forbid a girl have a few tiki drinks on a summer friday around here #hungover #la #summerfridays #over30

head SWIVELING the whole time. #horse #houseofthedragon #braveheart #equestrian

smiling kicking my feet thinking of college without the hefty student loans. @Campus #campuspartner

mom groups will tell you if you give your baby a pacifier they are 10% more likely to go to juvie #momtok #momgroup

did a reverse birthday surprise party, which is where I went to all of my friends at their homes on my birthday and surprised them. ##birthday##surpriseparty##birthdayparty@@Goo World Order

Replying to @The Funderdome being here is one of the bravest things you can do so let’s all give ourselves permission to FEEL tonight, yes? #theater #fringe #preshow #feeling

we ask your hottest takes while you date a digital letterboxd review that’s giving you the ick! #manonthestreet #digitalshow #content #scroll #host

she said she looks different cause she’s not eating seed oils! lay off her!!!!! #redcarpet #thin #celeb

why is it always the saddest story you’ve ever had the misfortune of reading #yt #commentsection #traumadump

is this just my hulu? what is the sorting algo… #hulu #streaming #tv

you just don’t know until you try

UNPLUG YOUR BOYFRIEND, I HATE HIM! apologies if no one else is on the tlc ai boyfriend video train #tlc #mystrangeaddiction #aiboyfriend

mind you, they’re selling laxative juice #coffee #bathroom #plumbing #pipe

here’s how to skip the tsa glambot #tsa #dhs

can we restock the chamomile for her PLEASE. #office #backtowork #corporate #cold

please just put me under #doctor #bedsidemanner #nurse #healthcareworker

oh frig it’s the florgendevel again let’s get the joystick #strangerthings #strangerthings5 #netflix

next time don’t do shallow breaths because that makes them kick. @chelzzoo #horses #horse #minipony #pony

it’s good to remind the audience to react up top #theatre #drama #play

come on tiktok, do your thing 🤞 #collab #brands #awesomesauce

the gutter innard demon is a clear allegory for grief #horror #scarymovie #halloween

not for nothin, i treated my stuffed animals better than some people treat their wives