Ivorie, LCSW (@mentalloadwithivorie)

You can love your husband, know he’s a good man, and still feel exhausted because you’re the only one carrying the invisible work. Listen, Both things can be true. If you’ve been looking for someone to finally put this into words, welcome & make sure to Stick around. 💛 #mentalloadofmotherhood…

I need a minute! Can we fr fr talk about the loneliness of having a genuinely good partner and still feeling like you’re doing this alone? Because that’s the part that messes with your head. He’s not checked out. He’s not mean. He loves you. But you’re still the one holding every single thing in…

A lot of couples fall into this without even realizing it. One person ends up asking what needs to be done… and the other ends up being the one who has to notice everything first. Keeping up with what’s coming, what’s missing, what’s overdue. That’s where the exhaustion usually comes from. Not the…

We LOVE MJ! #MJ #michaeljackson

I said what I said! 🤷🏾‍♀️ #mentalload #marriageadvice #mentalloadofmotherhood

Mama, I get it! Sometimes it’s easier to just do it yourself than keep asking somebody to handle it. 😩BUT here’s the problem Every time you jump in and handle something somebody else was supposed to do, you’re showing them that if they drop the ball, you’ll pick it right back up. And that’s how…

She shouldn’t have to point out everything that needs to be done in a house they BOTH live in. Being willing to help is one thing, but taking responsibility without being asked is another. #MentalLoad #marriageadvice #mentalloadofmotherhood

Listen, there’s a difference between helping and taking ownership. Helping is doing something because you were asked. Ownership is noticing what needs to be done, remembering it, and handling it without needing a reminder. And I think that’s where a lot of women get frustrated. It’s not that their…

Ladies, why do we act like we gotta book a whole vacation or disappear for a weekend just to feel like ourselves again? 😂 Sometimes it’s as simple as eating your food while it’s still hot, going to Target ALONE, making plans without checking everybody else’s schedule, or letting somebody else…

1. I started having conversations about responsibilities instead of asking for help. Instead of constantly asking my husband to do this or that, we started talking about who was responsible for what. Because there’s a difference between helping me with something and taking ownership of it. 2. I…

Because he sees what needs to be done and just handles it! 👏🏽👏🏽 No asking me what needs to be done, no waiting for instructions, and no putting the responsibility back on me. We BOTH live here. We BOTH parent these kids. And that’s what shared responsibility looks like over here! 🥂💃🏽 #MentalLoad…

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Now before somebody comes in these comments talking about, “Well, at least he’s trying.” 😂 Hear me out! Listen, I’m all for having systems in place that make life easier. But baby, there is a BIG difference between creating a system together and having to manage another grown adult. Because if I’m…

Stick around if you’re tired of carrying the mental load, being the default parent, and feeling like you have to tell everybody what needs to be done just for things to move. You don’t need more help. You need shared ownership so you’re not the one constantly noticing, reminding, planning, and…

Nobody’s going to say this to the mom carrying the mental load, so I will. You are keeping up with WAY more than people see. The appointments. The school emails. The permission slips. What everybody needs from the store. Who needs new shoes. What’s for dinner. What’s running low in the house. What…

I said what I said. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Going to work and providing for your family does not mean you clock out of being a partner when you get home. Stick around if you’re tired of carrying the mental load, remembering all the things, and having to tell a grown adult what needs to be done. Around here, we talk…

If that’s you, stick around. We talk about mental load and how to stop carrying all of it by yourself over here. #mentalloadofmotherhood #mentalloadofmotherhood #marriageadvice

I said what I said and I meant it! I spent too much time thinking I needed a better system, when really I needed to stop being the only one keeping track of everything. #mentalload #mentalloadofmotherhood #marriageadvice

1.if I have to keep reminding you, checking behind you, or asking if you did it baby, I’m still carrying it. you doing the task does not automatically mean it came off my plate if I still had to keep up with whether it got done. 2.just tell me what you need is not the flex some people think it is…

And the therapist in me knows we don’t build independence by constantly thinking for people. But whew, the mom in me had to learn that at home too. 1. It was teaching my girls that Mom is the one who keeps everything together. I do NOT want them growing up thinking being a woman means remembering…

You can see when your phone’s at 1%. You can see when your team is losing. The house isn’t invisible. You’ve just never had to look at it like it’s your job too. Make sure to stick around if you’re tired of having to point out what everybody else can see too. #mentalload #defaultparent…

Sometimes the hardest part isn’t getting everybody else to do more, it’s stopping yourself from jumping in and doing it for them. 😩 I KNOW I’ve been there. If you’re trying to break that habit, stick around. #mentalloadofmotherhood #mentalload #overwhelmedmom

THIS 👇🏾 1. If you see it, HANDLE IT. Trash full? Take it out. Dishes clean? Put them up. Y’all got eyes just like I do. 😂 2. Stop asking me what needs to be done. Because now I gotta notice it, think about it, AND tell you? 3. If it’s yours, YOU keep up with it. I’m not reminding, checking behind…

doing the task and carrying the task are two different things. Doing it is completing the physical task making dinner, driving there, buying it, signing it, showing up, completing it, following directions, finishing it.Carrying it is holding everything that makes the task happen: planning dinner…

“You should’ve just asked me.” But that’s the part so many couples miss. If I have to notice the laundry piling up, remember the kids need clean uniforms tomorrow, decide it needs to happen tonight, AND ask you to do it? You did the laundry. I managed the laundry. That’s why “just ask me” doesn’t…

She KNOWS you’ll do it if she asks. That’s not the issue 😩 She’s tired of always having to be the one to notice, remember AND ask. Sometimes she just wants you to see what needs to be done and say “I got it.” 👏🏾 If you’re ready for less “just tell me what to do” and more shared ownership, FOLLOW…

Because I KNOW somebody is gonna say “well just tell him what you need him to do.” 😭 Baby that’s the POINT. WE don’t want to spend THE day assigning tasks to another grown adult. We can talk about what needs to happen in our home. We can decide who owns what. But after that? I need you to OWN IT…

HOOOTY HOOOOO!! 📣 Is that you, friend?! 😂 If so, pull up a chair. You found your people! 🤎 #MentalLoad #mentalloadofmotherhood #marriageadvice

The mental load in marriage hits different when your husband sees everything you’re juggling but still waits for you to tell him how to help. We didn’t need a better chore list. We needed shared ownership of our home and family. And the thing is, my husband loves me. He didn’t WANT to watch me run…